First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
