How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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