After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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