Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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