Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
