I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
