I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
