i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
