I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
