I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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