you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
