i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
