So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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