i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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