That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
