SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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