WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize