Cold hands, warm shart.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
