Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
