i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
