Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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