there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
