O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
