is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
