I want to make a zoo with you.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
