If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
