That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
