One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
