we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize