Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize