I must be too annoying 4 u.
More tranny stories later!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
