i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
