everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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