i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize