Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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