So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
