uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
