I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
