Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize