I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
