why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Enjoy the penises
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
