Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize