Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Even my vagina gasped.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
