we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
