where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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