i think my tv is drunk
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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