she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
