Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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