my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
