Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
