Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
