There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
