Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he wants to bone in the snuggie
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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