So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
