Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
