Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
