I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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