Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
