I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize