you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
