i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
