he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
