Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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